Somebody that I knew
by laurana117
Summary: Kaoru finds Kenshin still obsessed with Tomoe. She and him talk and an agreement is reached. sort of songfic based on the song somebody that I used to know. Dysfunctional Kao/Ken. obsessive Tom/Ken. one-shot


Kaoru Kamiya walked softly through her dojo. She saw Sanosuke and Yahiko sleeping peacefully in their beds. It was the middle of the night. She had gotten so used to the hallways that she didn't need any light to travel at night. She had turned 19 a month ago, and soon Kenshin would be 29. She wondered at times, if their age gap was good for their relationship. 10 years had aged Kenshin a lot, but he acted younger than her sometimes.

She found the wanderer out in the courtyard. He was sitting and looking at the fireflies. She remembered the night he had left for Kyoto; fireflies had been all around them then. She stood behind him. He knew she was there but said nothing. She simply looked at the way the moonlight reflected off his red hair. She would have to speak first. He could sit there silently for all eternity if she did not bring him from his musings.

"Kenshin." She said in her quiet feminine voice. "It is late. You should rest."

"That is true Kaoru-Dono. But at nights like this, consumed by thought that I am." He said in his

Equally high voice.

"What are you thinking of?" Kaoru asked politely.

"I am thinking of Tomoe. Like always. I wonder if I should even be near you, Kaoru-Dono. I killed Tomoe, who says I could not kill you. You are in danger around me that you are." Kenshin said.

She stepped forward to sit next to him. Her next words had to be chosen with much care. If she said the wrong thing then he might leave forever. He had already left once. She watched the fireflies, their small light making her feel remorseful.

"Kenshin. You saved me from Enishi, and then told me afterward that you would live only for me. You cannot do that, if you are ever thinking of Tomoe. We prayed at her grave, is she not at peace?" Kaoru turned to look at him.

"I remember that. But I cannot afford to lose you as well. Tomoe's death made me only a shell of a man. I imagine your death would cause me to die as well." Kenshin said.

"But if you protect me, then I will not die. Besides, I am sure Tomoe has forgiven you." Kaoru said. She was growing nervous; normally he never spoke of his first love.

"Do you know I killed her first love? I killed Kiyosato without mercy. I didn't even think twice. I think of that often. I caused Tomoe so much pain, and here I am living happily with you Kaoru. I think of how you preach to your students of using the sword as a tool and not a weapon. Then I remember killing both Tomoe and Kiyosato, I feel guilty being near you." He said closing his eyes.

"I told you that I don't care about your past murders. I meant it Kenshin. Don't you know that? You mean everything to me. Tomoe died 14 years ago. She should be free from all of this!" Kaoru said speaking loudly.

"Kaoru-Dono…." Kenshin said quietly. He didn't say anything else. He only looked at the beautiful girl beside him. He never got to spend much time all alone with her. He liked looking at her and seeing all the ways she was different from Tomoe. This girl had lovely blue eyes; while Tomoe's black ones haunted him. Couldn't Kaoru see that he had too much guilt to return her love? Couldn't she see he didn't deserve her? Couldn't she tell his past was far too dangerous for her to ever be involved in? True, 14 years had passed, but he could still hear Tomoe's voice, he could still feel her lips. Tomoe's memory had never truly left him.

"You promised that you wouldn't be obsessed with your past." Kaoru said in an accusing voice. "You said I wouldn't find you longing for Tomoe."

She knew then, that couldn't happen. Kenshin Himura could not forget about Tomoe. As long as he could remember Tomoe he could not love her. Kaoru closed her eyes as tears threatened to leak out. He simply lacked the ability to forget and be forgiven. She wondered if Tomoe was out among the stars watching them. If she was she was probably happy that Kenshin was so obsessed with her.

Kenshin looked at Kaoru. "Kaoru-Dono, I killed her. Do you want that to happen to you? Do you want me to slay Sanosuke mercilessly? Because I have done that! I have made too many mistakes to remain here, my Kaoru-Dono. My life cannot be spent here, at this peaceful dojo." Kenshin confessed.

"Kenshin. I love you. I don't care about your killings. It truly does not matter to me. But if you feel you cannot forget Tomoe then I am afraid I can't continue loving you. You promised me you would not think of Tomoe like that anymore." Kaoru said.

Kenshin stood up from the porch. "The fireflies are out again. Kaoru-Dono, I thank you for understanding." He said.

He began walking away. He surveyed the shabby dojo. This place had become his home. He did not wish to go, but he needed to. His past had already destroyed too much. He could not afford to allow anything else to be harmed.

Before walking through the gate he turned to Kaoru. She sat on the porch with tears streaming down her face. He noticed the wetness on his own face. "Kaoru-Dono!" he called. She looked up at him. "Whenever I see fireflies, I will think of you instead of Tomoe." With those words he turned and departed from the Kamiya dojo.

Both of them wept softly. Surrounded by the fireflies.


End file.
